Imagine this: you wake up feeling off. You have a fever, maybe a headache, and your body just doesn’t feel right. So you go to the doctor. Do they shame you for getting sick? Do they cross their arms and say, “Well, how could you let this happen?” Of course not. They ask questions. They run tests. They look for patterns. They prescribe a solution.
Now, what if we treated our money mistakes the same way?
It might sound like a strange analogy at first, but this is something I talk about in my Kindle ebook Your First 5 Lakhs. The way we respond to money mistakes often shapes our entire financial journey. And sadly, many of us respond with guilt, shame, and self-blame.
But what if we changed that?
The Cycle of Financial Self-Blame
Most people don’t grow up learning how to manage money. Budgeting, investing, or even knowing how credit cards actually work are rarely taught in schools or homes. So when we end up in debt, or miss a savings goal, or spend way more than intended, we tend to spiral into self-judgment.
“I’m so bad with money.”
“I should’ve known better.”
“Why can’t I be more disciplined?”
Sound familiar?
This emotional self-flagellation keeps you stuck. You’re so busy beating yourself up that you miss the real opportunity to understand what went wrong and how to fix it.
Curiosity Over Criticism
Let’s go back to that doctor analogy. A good doctor doesn’t just treat the symptoms; they look for why the fever happened. Was it an infection? Stress? A new medication?
Similarly, if you overspent last month or couldn’t stick to your budget, it’s time to get curious, not critical.
Was your budget too tight? Did an unexpected expense come up? Did emotional spending creep in after a tough week?
When you ask the right questions, you start seeing the patterns. Perhaps your rent consumes half of your income. Perhaps online sales or Instagram ads are your weak points. Whatever it is, you now have information. And information is power.
This is the mindset I encourage throughout Your First 5 Lakhs. Not perfection. Not financial sainthood. Just clarity and momentum.
Why Most Advice Misses the Mark
A lot of traditional personal finance advice comes with a preachy tone. Save more. Spend less. Stop eating out. Cut Netflix. Cancel your subscriptions. Live like a monk.
Sure, those tips might help in the short term. But long term? They feel restrictive, joyless, and often unsustainable.
Here’s the truth: money isn’t just numbers. It’s emotional. It’s psychological. How we treat money is often a mirror of how we treat ourselves.
And if you constantly shame yourself every time something goes wrong financially, you’ll start associating money with anxiety and failure.
What I propose instead is a method that feels kind but firm. Reflect on what didn’t work. Course-correct without guilt. And set up systems that align with your real life, not some ideal version of yourself who only eats home-cooked food and never splurges.
The Hidden Cost of Shame
Here’s something you might not realize. Every time you dwell in shame over a financial mistake, you delay your progress. You waste precious energy worrying, overthinking, and replaying scenarios in your head.
That energy could be spent creating a new plan, building an emergency fund, or finding a side hustle to bring in extra income.
In Your First 5 Lakhs, I share strategies that are both practical and forgiving. I talk about how to build a savings cushion, understand your spending habits, and even make small, steady investments without feeling overwhelmed. But none of it works unless you drop the shame and choose curiosity instead.
It’s Not Too Late
Maybe you’re in your 30s and haven’t started saving yet. Maybe you’ve racked up credit card debt and feel paralyzed about what to do next. Maybe you’ve tried budgeting apps and spreadsheets, and nothing sticks.
It’s not too late. Your money story isn’t over. In fact, this could be the very beginning of a new chapter.
You just need to approach it like a doctor approaches a diagnosis. With questions, with openness, and with the belief that healing is always possible.
What to Do When You Mess Up
The next time you make a money mistake, maybe you overdraft your account or splurge during a sale, pause. Take a breath. Say, “Hmm. That was interesting.”
And then ask yourself:
- What triggered that decision?
- Was there an emotion tied to it?
- What can I change next time?
This small pause, this moment of reflection, is more powerful than any budget rule or savings formula. It’s a moment where you choose growth over guilt. And that shift can change everything.
A Gentle Push Toward Financial Wellness
Money can feel complicated, especially when we carry the weight of past mistakes. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
In Your First 5 Lakhs, I walk you through a practical yet compassionate approach to handling your money. It’s not about earning crores overnight or depriving yourself of every joy. It’s about creating a stable, confident foundation that supports the life you want.
So if you’re tired of beating yourself up and are ready to approach your finances like a wise, curious doctor, I invite you to grab a copy. You deserve financial peace, not perfection.
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