One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe
Confidence is important right? Yes, if you want to succeed in any aspect of life, you need to have it. This is a known fact. However, unfortunately many people struggle to find it. The point is it is not already there, you need to develop it from scratch. Why? Is it not installed inside you by default at birth? No, because you never know what level and kind of confidence you need.
It depends on your trait, personality, your purpose in life and more importantly, your attitude. So you need to develop it as you and your needs and goals grow. So how to develop confidence from level zero?
Find our your weaknesses:
This might look like a bad start but this is where you need to start. This is the idea of removing weeds off first. Write down your weaknesses in notebook, keep it in an accessible place and read them as often as you can. Write them as a list one below the other.
Now on the right hand side write down what you can do about each of your weaknesses. For instance, if procrastination is one of your weaknesses, write down a small fix to the weakness.
In another page write all possible ways to overcome procrastination (ways which suits your way of life). Find out one way which is easy for you to implement and try that. You can of course experiment with all the ways.
Be assured that you have started to deal with one of your weaknesses, that is procrastination in this case. Now you get motivated to dig out your weaknesses one by one and finding a fix for it.
This tells your mind that one day you will be weakness-free! Now you have sowed the seed of confidence inside you.
Make note of your successes to gain confidence:
Recap! Look back into your life and see what are the things you have achieved in life and where have you failed. You need not write them down as in the previous case, but when you have some quite time off do this as a mental exercise. Appreciate yourself for all those successes.
For example, if you have got an appreciation from your boss for completing a project in time and successfully, make a note of it. This tells you that you can deal with similar projects in future easily and you are good at it.
Do this exercise for all of your prominent successes in the past. This tells you that you are an expert in dealing with similar tasks/situations. Hence this exercise helps you to dig out your area of expertise.
I would say do not mourn but learn from your mistakes. There is nothing to mourn about since there is no perfect thing or a moment in life.
The best thing and the only thing you need to do about your mistakes is to learn from them. Find out which aspect of you made you fail at that moment. The very act of finding the shortfall will get the problem to your focus.
At this point you have confidence growing inside you, since you can also deal with your shortfalls and hence you mistakes too!
Be prepared for both success and failure:
By now, this aspect comes to you by default, if it doesn’t cultivate it manually. You must be prepared for both successes and failures. Why? The reason is simple. Any task you do can give you just two basic outcomes: Success or Failure. Hence there is a 50-50 chance that you reap one of it.
Depending upon your expertise on the task and your confidence on it, the ratio changes but still you can not guarantee a 100% success rate to any task, you know, there are many external factors that come into picture. Thus tell your mind to be prepared for both success and failure.
By this time you know that you can benefit from both of them, from a success you can know your expertise and from a failure you can learn from your mistakes and shortfalls.
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